The girl who feared happiness – shot 3

Lullaby a song unsung

Its spring again but I can only wonder what my last spring was like.
My disease have grown so strong that I don’t know where I am heading.. I can now remember only those things which leaves a trail. I am still that girl who has grown so strong against happiness.
Life is still giving me twists and turns..
Its like expecting the unexpected..

When you take a step, your life is ready to give surprises and you keep on guessing whats the new twist it is going to bring in. This guessing game has gone too far that I don’t find it any more interesting. Why doesn’t it give me some exciting puzzles… the one which can make my heart thump up with joy..

Now that I know what my life is intending to do with me .. I am enjoying it to the fullest… In between I have started to enjoy all the small things in  my life, trying to steal them away from the dark shadows of my life ..

I also feel happy when I can predict whats the next twist that my life is planning to give me.
One thing I learned is, take what ever you can from this life ..
Live the way you want it to be..
Express your views & thoughts, may be others will be able to understand you.
Even though it may not be appropriate, its ok to confess.
May be life has a way of giving back everything it has taken from you.  Even the saddest and the happiest memories will be recreated.. I have noticed one more thing about my life and that is my inability to remember those incidents which could have been bad for me .. Never once, my life took away my memories of happiness .. It gives me a big relief that my life is so considerate of me ..
It never fails to astonish me !!
Always putting things that are needed and valuable in life, and removing those junks that could pollute my thoughts.
Even though I cry remembering the path that life makes me walk .. I can assure myself it was much needed  as I was able to see only the goodness around me ..
Even when I curse my life of becoming allergic to happiness it encouraged me to see the world through a different light.. Happiness is not something that can be captured.. The more you try to run behind it , it eludes.
I am happy that I can enjoy each and every moments in life with out thinking whats going to happen next; even though  the  feeling of badness still lingers, I have confidence that once I sleep and wake up I will forget it ..
Each night I wait for the life to sing its lullaby ..

And I am enjoying the song ..
“Sleep and I forget everything ..”


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